Green Milestone

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! I know its a day late, but I was having too much fun yesterday to worry about posting. I blazed through the work day wearing green and feeling a sense of triumph at surviving 6 years of marriage and 10 years of relationship with a challenging man like my husband. The “7 year itch” can bite me!

We went to dinner at Edgefield’s Power Station Pub. It being St. Patty’s, there were people everywhere, a live band, a booth selling all manner of everything green, and a pint in every hand. No one was deterred by the sporadic rain. While waiting for our buzzer to summon us to an open table, we wandered around listening to the band, watched the glass blower at work, and made all sorts of gardening plans for the new digs. Our table was in an atrium with a wood-burning stove and shelves of old books on the walls. He had the whiskey chicken sandwich; I had an Irish Rueben, both with corned beef and cabbage soup. Shared a brownie with a mountain of vanilla ice cream on it, drowning in ale-infused caramel syrup. Good grub.

I tell you this next part because it makes me laugh. We went to the closest porn shop for a new movie and to replace an old friend. Honey hands it to me while I’m talking to the clerk, and she stops mid conversation and says “I have a cheaper and way better one than that. Hold on, you have to try this.” She comes back with something called the “Turbo Accelerator”, an 8-speed wonder-vibe with remote attached, pops batteries in and drops a nubbie silicon-covered bullet in my hand. Level 1 is what I’m used to. Level 8 had me jumping up and down, giggling like a school girl. No joke. Apparently, all the women who work in the shop, as well as women attached to men working in the shop, have one of these and don’t want anything else. After a thorough test run, lemme just say…Ladies, you need one. We named mine Ricky Bobbi, which also makes me laugh. Naming them is helpful for discussing such matters in public without looking like the horny wench that you are or being accused of indecency when children are present.

We’re going to pick up our recliner today. I’m sure most of the spats for the next month or so will be over who gets to lounge in the awesome chair. We’re also getting our internet hooked up today. Honey has been practically adrift without it since Friday. The guy who parks next to me can’t park, so I keep ending up half on the sidewalk so I can get out of the driver’s seat. Met the downstairs neighbor – she asks a lot of questions, but seems nice. They keep telling me the blue skies are coming…

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