It's Always Sunny

Did I sound depressed in that last post? It wasn't my intention, cuz I wasn't, but I was run down and feeling it. Not every day is a great day, and on those not-so-great days I try to keep my mouth shut. I'm a closet angry person and though watching me self implode might be entertaining, I'm trying not to inflict negativity on the masses. I've been told that I'm text book 'depressed', undiagnosed of course. I have parent issues, anger issues, weight and lifestyle issues, and some days I wake up and just hate everything... which is neither healthy nor productive and makes me hell to be around, so I try to talk myself out of it before talking to anyone else. But being aware that I tend to "get the blues", now I'm paying more attention and trying to get my happy on. I used to be a very happy child; the world was my oyster in fact. I had the biggest dreams, hundreds of giant dreams, and I still want all of them - my head often gets in the way of how to have those dreams. Every hear the one about the different answers you'll get if you ask a child vs an adult how to put a giraffe in a refrigerator? An adult with tell you, of course, that you can't, with the size of neck and legs it's impossible. A child will say you open the door, take the giraffe by the neck, and put it in. Simple.

So why aren't I happy every day of my life and gone out to achieve all those big dreams? I'm still trying to convince my adult mind that I can put a giraffe in a refrigerator.

For the record, today was awesome. Any day I can wake up without an alarm qualifies as awesome. Got my groove on, had some Chipotle for lunch, went and helped beautify a house - I have mad cutting skills with a paint brush btw - watched a cheesy/cute movie over frozen pizza...good stuff.


ADVERSE! said...

yesterdays post didnt sound depressing to aparently a diagnosed manic depressive lol, the new age term for it is bipoler laughssssss alot. Maybe i am nuts but to be frank....i dont care too much, i dont like doctors drugs of which ive tried a shed load over my lifetime so far...all of which made me feel WORSE. Like you i have good days and not so good days, to me imo thats life. I function so there for i am alive and well-ish ;) sounds like you had a nice day today x

MonkeyOne said...

I wonder sometimes how well the people are who're doing the diagnosing and calling the rest of us sick in some form or another. We're all fucked up as far as I can tell. :)